Why Are Moms So Bad at Meeting Their Needs?

Moms are some of the most judgmental people I know.

Moms are also the most judged people I know.

We are constantly judged by society and by each other.

As moms, we have a culture to do everything for our children and our families. We put them first above all else—even our own needs. Why? Because we are expected too.

The moment that a mom doesn’t do what we think is best for her child, we judge her. We ask, “Why doesn’t she put her kid first?” We label her one of those moms—a bad mom. A selfish mom. A weak mom. Heck, we even do it to ourselves! The result is the ever-pervasive mommy guilt. We feel guilty when we try to meet our needs.

We have seen this self-neglect normalized by the generations of mothers who came before us. Think about your own mother and grandmother.

It is this culture of self-sacrifice and martyrdom that leads many mothers to neglect their own needs.

But, in truth, a mom who cares for her own needs is a happier person, and arguably, a better mom. Don’t believe me? Let me explain.

Rarely or never taking care of our needs as a mom is the best way to burn out. Yes, if we don’t meet our emotional, spiritual, mental, and physical needs, we will burn out. The reason? For us to give to others, we need reserves to draw from.

When we are depleted, we become resentful, angry, annoyed and experience many other negative feelings. The result is that we are not the moms we strive to be. I know because I’ve experienced the beginnings of burnout and witnessed burnout in other moms. It is sad, but doesn’t have to be this way.

I’m not advocating that we don’t love and care for our children or families. I am saying that we need to take better care of ourselves so that we can better care for others. And while we are at it, we may as well flourish as people and realize some of our dreams.

How about it moms? Who’s with me?!

Leave a comment sharing why you think moms have difficulty regularly meeting their own needs.

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